Relink : Http://recurringhurts.blogspot.com

Important happens on bended knees and is breathed on last breaths with hands clutched tight, hearts tighter.

My heart is dead, fucking real dead now. Couldn't stop thinking of you, and i dont know why. Promise myself that i'll let you go for someone better and i'm going to stick to my decision no matter what. I'm tired of trying when i dont even feel that there is a point for us to be back together again. You broke my heart, and now its too late to ment it back cos a part of me is already giving up. I'm so tired of quarreling and having misunderstanding here and there, when you dont even try to think of me. Don't say you're afraid to lose me, maybe talking face to face would be better then anything else.

I think it isn't really about how much you think of someone in a day, I think it's more of how much you can pick your battered self up despite struggling t pull through circumstances after circumstances, renew enough confidence t spark everything up once again, and find your way back with that glow. Does anyone beg t differ? I don't quite know where all these strength comes from anyway. Love knows no boundaries. 

Friends are so lovely. They are someone whom can be there for me, who bring me many joys and laughter. I enjoyed these few nights with them. I swear nothing can replace friends in  my life. Cause heart broke and can't meant back anymore. I am saying the last goodbye to you.

p/s : onsugar can't upload pics):

Fuck, i dont know why cannot upload pictures ):

So many things happened during the past few days. Things seems to be clear now, and i finally know where i am standing. I stand strong, and i make sure i wont fall. If things arent meant to be, wont meant to be, like how we are, it is obvious enough. Dont say you want me to be happy, cause you know that without you i never will. I just have to open my eyes bigger to search for someone who truely love and appreciate me cause I'm tired of all these love games, i wanna settle down once and for all, and these time, i know i'll. As you say, loving someone means doing what you thinks make the person happy, even if it means letting go. I take down your words, and now i couldn't ask for anything more.

I love you more then anything. But now its time for me to go, goodbye. I'll never forget you.

Last friday, sat and sunday i had enjoyed myself so much. Thanks for those people who celebrated my birthday for me.

Friday.

- Eunice and Lin came over to my aunt's house. They helped me to bring all those food that she helped us cook to habourfront.  Met Koie and her boyfriend, Jeff there. Bought tickets for the enterance to the sentosa tram at vivo. Pinic there, there're a spread of food. Eunice and Koie tanned, and i tanned a bit too. Chatted, had lots of fun. Koie and Jeff left at around 4pm cause they have something to attend to. While Lin, Eunice and me went to bathe. Then headed to vivo. Shopped around, and baby reached there at 6plus. So met baby, acc him outside to smoke. Then walked around a bit. He saw this checked top which he like very much so i intended to buy for him either on our second month anniversary or on his birthday. Went inside Zara, but none nice top that baby like. Trained to yishun and baby had fun watching ' Good luck chuck' on my itouch. Cabbed to Louis house, then went opposite to pack kfc cause Louis still have customer at his house. Ate on the way back then baby got his leg tattoo done too, i swear he lost a lot of blood during the process. Then cabbed to bishan. B called his bro downstairs to help us pay cause we are so broke. Then i cabbed home, reach home at 1plus. Bathe, continued texting B, slept.

Saturday.Met Rodney, Cy and Douglas at the cathay. All of us were late but i'm stil the earliest to reach. And we missed 4.10pm show for 'funny poeple', so bought another ticket to the surrogates at 5plus. They smoke then headed to ajisen ramen for lunch with them. Rodney treated, thanks. Headed back to the cathay, in the end, watched movie. Nice movie, thrilling and exciting. Then trained down to orchard cause it was raining, went to ion, then respectively to taka, herreen and cine. Slacked and all. Cy's girlfriend came too, and all of teh guys were like crazy for the soft toy machine thingy. Spend a lot of money on that just to catch one toy. Hahaha. Then intended to watch movie inside the chamber at cine level nine, but no nice one. Stupid rodney, watched so many of them alrdy. Then walked to robinson, Cy's girlfriend left. While the four of us headed to parklane for lan. But acc Cy for his late dinner first. I was surprised when Douglas bought a small oreo cheesecake for me with a candle on top. Blowed the candle, make a wish. Then took pics, those pictures are still with Rodney and i will upload it asap when i got the pics from him cause he's currently in ns outfield for 10 days :/ Played L4D for one hour till 12.30pm and cabbed home. As usual, i got textes, calls from friends that wished me happy birthday! Thank you!

Sunday (my birthday)

Lunch with mum and dad at serangoon garden. Then headed down to Louis's house at yishun to meet noelle and henry. Henry's doing his tattoo. After done, chatted awhile at his house then trained down to dhobu ghaut, walked to parais for dinner with them then catch some toy at some machine beside it. Wasted 30bucks but in return i caught two toys, emo and cookie monster. My luck not bad lor. Then walked back to dhoby ghaut,  waited for baby there. Meet baby and he finally reached at night! Went to acarde, checked movie timing but no timing, tmd. Settled down at starbucks, bought drink - Java chip, tasted not bad. Chit chatted there, then they acc me to the cathay, got my pay cheque. Fucking happy i swear. Hahaha. Then slacked outside the cathay. Home at 11plus.

Monday.

School's first day. Late! Finally get to see my clique after one month of holiday. After school, to the cathay with haoling, spend two hours for L4D at e2max. The sofa there super comforty. Then downstairs to chipshop for snacks. Haoling left while i went to meet Yp at amk. Find his friends at kpool, his usual cliques. Then watched movie with them, accident ' Fucking bad show i swear! No link, somemore the main lead died in the end. Fucking no meaning. Headed to k pool again, supposed to play, played with daniel but i swear i sucks. Haha but saw Zhiwei's and Xu yuan's pool table next to us only. Slacked abit more then i went over to my aunt's house. Then uncle fetched me home at 11plus. Nothing much.

Tuesday.

School as usual. Cabbed to school. Lunch with clique at canteen before lesson starts. Fucking lecturer keep aiming me and Haoling for dont know what reason. Yp called me in the middle of the lesson, and the lecturer ask me to go out and talk on the phone in front of the while class. Kns. Headed to tpy with Noelle after school, found the whole tpy central for her selling of handphone. Finally she sold hers for 160bucks. Hawker for dinner, wide spread of food. Then headed to bishan, noelle and me went to shop before baby came. To bysi, bought one over sized top and cotton on's shorts. Met baby at our usual playground then the three of us went to coffee bean located at j8, chatted till 11plus, then home.

Wednesday.

Bought drinks, mint and cigg for baby at 7-11, then cabbed to baby's house early in the morning, then accompanied him to uob bank for his cash cheque thingy, transfer his 200bucks to Louis for his tattoo. Saw benson. Settled outside bishan library. Something terrible happened. Baby walked away when i was on the phone with Jasper. Then he send me break up message. I rushed to his house area and waited till 7plus until his maid came out to the stairs then i know he's sleeping at home alrdy. Until now, he didnt contact me. Didnt answer my calls, didnt reply to my text. I really dont know what happen. I just wish i knew, so i dont have to be so down now. Cried for the whole night and my eyes are sore now, didnt sleep well. Sigh. But i am still waiting.

Thrusday (today)

Skipped sch today. Met Zhiling, and i'm at her house now, and she' sleeping! Maybe meeting friends together later, or if my emotion still unstable, i might head home early. Sigh i'll update later or something.

If only i know whats the reason behind for breaking up. If only i know, i wouldn't feel so emotionally unstable now. But i dont know why when the phone rings, i wish it was you. I wish you did text and tell me that you want me back, i wish you will call me and ask me to meet you. I almost gave up my life just now, i dont know why i screwed everything up. I have tried my best to be a good girlfriend alrdy. Or maybe i try not hard enough. I am still waiting..

This is the first time i wanna hold onto someone so badly. Cause you mean everything to me, my entire life.